i am so bored right now. i know im sppse to be studying right but yeah im not in the mood. i dont know what the hell is wrong with me.haih.papa,im sorry okay?mummy,im sorry.=(.but hey next year i promise that ill study hard.like really hard. promise papa. i promise! im gonna delete this blog i guess. maybe when school start. i mad at myself right now bcz i know a secret that can breaks someone heart! but if i ever tell him thats mean i btrys my friend trust!yeah,it is suck! his happy right now and i dont wnt he bcm sad anymore.nahh,i dont want that happen. HELL NO okay! man,im sorry okay?im sorry! i just want you to be happy thats all. and i dont wnna betray my fren.;(

Baby can I have a moment of your precious time?
So you and me can get it out just for a little while
I'm gonna be straight up, not gonna lie
'Cause I've had enough
I've had enough of...
You don't know everything you've put me through
Just step aside
Been blinded by the spotlight

You're no better than me
You're no number one
Baby, without you I see
You're not at all what I thought you'd be
Every time that I try you come along and pass me by
Baby notice me, just for once
For who I am not what you want

Break me down to build that legend in your own mind
Sorry that I couldn't be another "yes man"
Sit back and watch while you command attention all the time
'Cause I'm fed up
I'm fed up with...
You don't know everything you've put me through
Just step aside
Been blinded by the spotlight

You're no better than me
You're no number one
Baby, without you I see
You're not at all what I thought you'd be
Every time that I try you come along and pass me by
Baby notice me, just for once
For who I am not what you want

Im into this lyrics.

Jika mahu mndapatkan yg soleh, kurangkan agenda mnCARI si Soleh, tetapi berusahalah mnJADI yg solehah. Jika inginkan yg solehah, jgnlah cerewet mnCARI yg solehah, tetapi berusahalah mnJADI yg soleh. Bertemu yang solehah, solehahnya belum tentu kekal. Bertemu yang soleh, solehnya boleh berubah..kerana si soleh dan si solehah adalah insan biasa...

tukar kpd soleh n solehah tu kpd mr.perfect. n mrs. perfect.

i talk to someone last night. his nice. damn nice. i wish i can be like him one day. yeah,you are my idol now. thanks fr evrythg. it means alot okay? i hope u'll be happy forever with ure loves one. you deserve that happnss. really. you are too nice man. she should be proud to have you in her life. yeah, eventhough you have ure own probs but you still treat me nice. you know ill be there for you if you need someone, friend. i will. anytime im here for you bcz fr me you are too nice and you deserve that. ;)
thanks ;) i wont write ure name bcz im scared that u'll get mad. i dont wnt that happen okay?;)

ok,its 3a.m now and im bored. damn bored. dont know what should i do. really.
just now i called eca but she switch off her cell phone then i call ena. oh yeah, i miss that voice!really do! talk to her for awhile. ena kecik,i miss you alot okay. today i watch 3 movie. i just watch twilight. damn,im in love with edward!HIS SO HOT OKAY! but my crush is hotter!;) i wish ill have a future husband just like him. i knw thats just a DREAM!;)
okay now im gonna write about what i feel.i just need to let this thing out!

i miss him.i just want to see his face maybe for a second?pls?i dont know why im so into him. i really dont know why! and yeah im tired of this nonsense feeling. im tired okay. i just cant stop praying to god. help me. calm me down plus i know his always there.mr.you have no idea how much i love you and need. one thing thats always in my mind is i keep wishing that my face cross your mind and i wish i can stay with you.be with you.only you. and i wont get bored of it.im waiting fr you. im sure that one day ill do something. text me?say hye?is that so hard to make me so happy?ha?or i dont even deserve happy? am i too bad for that?i know im not good enough fr you and too ugly but hey i bet im the one in this world who have been waiting fr you since i was small man!

i miss him!

Well I am what I am could be what yoru are.
Is your pain when you smile cos you feel alone?
And are you strong enough to be yourself??
Papa used to say "You're just a loser
and you're never gonna have what it takes"
Mama used to say "All that loud music you play ain't gonna get you nowhere"
you gotta be yourself.


i just want to change!



tried to tell you how I feel
I tried to tell you but I'm weak
Words don't come easily
When you get close I shiver
I watch you when you smile
I watch you when you cry
And I still don't understand
I can't find a way to tell you
I wish I was your lover
I wish that you were mine
Baby I've got this feeling
That I just can't hide
Don't try to run away
There's many things I wanna say
No matter how it ends

this is for you man!

im bored. damn bored i dont know what to do and im not sleppy.haiyaa!whats wrong with my eyes ha?im wnt to change my id but i dont know what and when i wrote it,its change to ERROR. i dont want anybody to read my blog because its so personal. ena,you can read mine because you alrealdy knew about my bloody blog.:) yeah few more hours then kl here i come. I dont really know whats happening to me right now bcz i dont feel calm. i feel that something is missing and i have to find it asap. just now i take a look at one of my myspace's friend. her pic are so cool and she got a great friend. i wish i had that kind of friend.yea la,i know i already have my cool friend but you know we always argue and fight. its just that our group is so weird,i do love them so much tho but yeah i hope that one day we all gonna be together you know as a group. I REALLY WAIT FOR THAT MIRACLE okay. REALLY DO. and i wish i have someone who i can tell anything about my prob bcz my friend dont seems like they really care. all that they ever want is ENJOY! as long as they can hang out and be with their boyfriend and talk about others. They are nice,pretty and kind but sometimes i just dont know where is my friend?where are they when i need them the most?im sure if one of my friend call me and want to say something ill be a listener. i still remember last two month im having a very bad fever. i cant even stand. my mom were to panik and one week after that im goin to my house and papa pick me up and he was like "faresha ure face pucat la, i think you demam last week tu HINI.yeah. i really think so" but thank god i survive! NONE OF MY BESTIE CALL.only umirah the one who i always make fun of and i feel guilty.im so sorry umi and thanks fr the call. i dont come to school for 1 week and 2 days but my friend dont even care at all. even my bstfriend in my classmate eca. Eca i knw you not gonna read this blog but if you ever find out which is i think never bcz i wnt to change my id.hey girl you knw what when your dad died i was worrying bout you like hell. i swear! i text you always to give you that spirit spirit and i dont even think that you care girl. im sorry to say that.babe i do care about you oky?i do love you but i dont think you like me at all. i told you about my stuff and when you meet me you make fun of me girl. i know most of evrthg about ure fam but i never make fun of that infront of others kan?im sory babe. i just feel sad right now. And god thanks fr sending me praveena. she is the best la. evytime i call her she will be there,evrytime i text her even about the same things she will calm me down. and evrythings happen to her,she will tell me. its like babe your diary is my diary and my diary is your diary. theres nothing i COULD ASK FOR MORE. but now you are far away and i know that one day we will meet again. we will babe.we will. ILOVEYOUTOOMUCH GIRL.and if i can make a wish right now,ill wish that you will stay near me alwys. miss you alots sayang.:(( i dont know why im so emo right now. haih. what am i crapping nih.but yeah ill read it back when im old.:)

I just came back from airprt to pick up papa.:) everything is safe. alhamdulillah,i can smile now.thanks ALLAH.you are the best.thanks fr evrything. and tomorrow im goin to kl. bought the ticket already.Air asia.i hope theres no more cold war between me and mummy. Allah please help me. ;( i dont want that such thing happen anymore. and god i promise ill pray. i want to change. be a good girl. everyone makes mistake even me kan.:) everyone im sorry fr everything i did. eventhough i know no one gonna read my blog bcz i wont tell anyone.its kind of personal.:) you know.
gtg,goin to have chat with papa.haha.:)

im gonna wake up early tomorrow, because im gonna pick up papa with mama,faez, fikran and tasha.
and im so exited. yay! alhamdulillah bcz evrything is safe. but im not so happy bcz yea la. papa still tak sampai kan. tomorrow when i see his smile im gonna be the happiest girl in the world.
Just now went to kb mall to buy something then went tesco. i bought kfc. i mean chicken la kan=D
and i ate chocolate ice cream.ILOVEIT okay. while i was waiting fr mama bcz shes goin to buy tudung and i wnt to buy kfc so she ask me to waited fr awhile. After i bought something at kfc i called her and she said okay, i will be there real soon. after i call mama this ONE WEIRD guy come and he was like what did you buy then i said stuff. and he asked me again, did you buy vegetables?and i said yes. mama bought it then he said oh,vegetable's here are very fresh then i said okay. come'on like i dont know but anywys thanks for your FREE information and he said my shop are right there and if you want to buy something im gonna give you SPECIAL %%%%.haha
nk promote rupanya.haha. As you can see im so boring right now. very!i gtg:)bubye and im sure no one gonna read this bcz its my secret blog.im so lame ha?im gonna read this blog when im old=)

yeah,i woke up early this morning. yay! and and sleep quite early last night.which is 3a.m.horrayyy! i know sooner or later ill be a good girl=))I REALLY HOPE SO!
Papa is coming back tomorrow and i cant wait to see his face. His laugh,His lame joke which is kind of funny.haha:))papa,only god knows how much i need you in my life.you brighten up my day dad.=)and i know fiqrans missing you too much. just now he was counting,and he was like yay!18 hours more and he keep staring at my pimples;//.=D. i still remember his cool pantun goes like this.(Tasha pakai baju purple,faresha banyak pimple)haha.boy,you are so clever and im proud to have you as a brother.i mean it okayy=))

I dont know what is wrong with my eyes,its very pain.tears came out always and i dont know why . its very pedih ok.man!i cant stand it! medicine pls?=?

I feel like i want to go to mummy's house but i dont know weather i should go or not.im scared that ill make it more worst than i thought.Mom,i have no idea how to tell you that i miss you so much.i wish thing will go back to normal.ASAP!please ALLAH,help me.Nowadays,i keep making mistake and i dont know why.late it be. maybe this month is my worst month.okay i shall stop talking about this before my mood turn to sad mood.

im addicted to why cant i and i will be right here waiting for you and far away.its reminds me of him! i still miss him tho.;(too bad?yeah even things getting worst.nasib baik tgk muka fiqran tak keluar muka dia.hahaha


p/s.mama,lets go to kb mall?im so bored right now.too bored mom=(

just now mummy call and she was so mad,bcz my brother told her then i stll sleeping. but what can i do? i cant sleep last night. really really cant. i go to sleep at 7 a.m. and im so sleepy this morning . i know girl not suppose to wake up late. im sorry.
and sometimes i jst wish that i can ran away and live alone. so no one will care about me and thats good. its just too good to be true.

she also mad at me bcz i told her that this week tuition going to start and she said i lied. hey mom,driver ddnt come and it wsnt my fault okay? what can i do?go to tuition bt using the taxi?im sure you gonna kill me if i use taxi!

i just hate hate hate my life so much.too much i guess.


SOMEONE HELP ME PLS.

i hope theres always tomorrow

I just woke just now and its very very late. If mummy were im sure shes gonna kill me. Mummy i miss you so much and i dont wnt to go there bcz of HIM. i cant stand him anymore. im sorry mom. even though im not there bear in your mind that i will always love you mom, and no one can change that. No one! i know im not a good daughter and im so sorry. ='((


I want to change my life but i dont know how, really dont know how. but one day i know ill change and i need support okay. i need it so bad.


And yes mr. everytime i wake up straight away ill think about you and missing you like crazy. i just want to look at your face. i know im not suppose to love you but hey what can i do for that?tell me?i dont force this feeling! right?? if i can meet you asap and thats mean my dream come TRUE!but you are far away for here and i dont think you even remember me.

I hope mama bought the newspaper because i want to read about the tragedy that happend yesterday kb mall. i was thinking about it and something crossed my mind.maybe Allah want to show us that nothing is imposible. that is so SCARY and makes me think how close we are to death.. yet, we're still acting like we're gonna live forever.

thats all for right now will continue it later.


=))

Tonight,i want to write about something that ive been hiding for 7 years i guess?

i dont know why i like him,i really2 dont know why. tried so hard to forget him but it was useless.DAMN USELESS! it dsnt even work. few of my best people knw about this but all they are trying to say is

*move on*
*hey wake up girl.he dsnt even like you"
*come on try to forget him i know you can do it*

you girls just dont understand.i tried my best okay.
if i can forget him i wouldnt tell you,im not that bloody stupid.

everytime wake up,all i remember is you. when i go to sleep all i wonder is you. all i need is you. i knw im too ugly for you but hey remember if you give me chance ill make sure that you will be happy as long as im alive.I PROMISE!

I will never like anyone in this world more than i like you. i dont know why.
i always wonder that was it worth it to wait or?

I dont want you to know what i feel bcz its embrrsg okay?you will laugh at me i guesS? its just real love that you dont knw about. you are too special to me. i love you too much man! sometimes i cry,but i dnt tell anyone bcz i think i can handle my self!i will be waiting fr you forever.!

hurm='(
anyone?talk to me?

okay now im gonna write something about my friend.Ena
im gonna use purple colour which is my FAV colour bcz she is also my FAV friend,

okay girl, before this we are not really closed kan? rapat kejap then back to biasa balik. i wish skrg we will always be rapat. i really wish! yang, i will always remember your word and all those advices. i promise. you understand me more than my other friend. thanks alot babe. eventhough we are not always together but we always remember each other kan?i hope so. only god knows how much i love you and care about you yang. i hope theres no more misunderstanding in our friendship. thanks fr evrything sayang.i mean it.:)and milo also is a good choice ena sayang=)

AND MY OTHER BESTFRIEND IS AMY.:)

amy, i miss you so much.too much is guess? last year we are always together but not this year kan? where are you girl? i try to find you but you are nowhere!='(
yang,thanks for all your support and it mean alots to me.i stll remember that last year i told you that im going to diet and you bring vegetabls biscuit fr me.:) you touched my heart girl. even though nowadays we are not really together but remember that you are someone special to me okay?i love you forever mrs.wafiq.
yeah im happy bcz you couple dgn wafiq bcz his the right guy for you sayang.his nice.he love you so much.you knw what i mean?his better than ure other exbf.:)
all i ever want is your hppnss amy.:)


people who i dont write your name here it dsnt mean that i dont love you girls.its just that the matter of time.


ECA,NIENA,EDAH,ANIS,DEENA,PUTERI,PRAVEENA,NIK,TYJA =)
WILL UPDATE IT LATER.:)

Something really really BAD happen today at kb mall.Car crush in from the third floor to ground floor.IM not sure how its happen but yeah its scary man!3 people died i guess.i dont know what will happen to their parents.huh!u'know.benda tu semua x expected kan.And yeah before that me,mama and fiqran went to kbmall,fiqran wants to buy cd and chocolate,he want me to follow.We ate at kfc then we go get the cd after that fiqran wants to go back because sakit perut.We were there for 1 hour only,then when i was on my wayback home,niena text me and she was like "eh faresha kb mall runtuh?" then i replied "no lah,i just came back la,nothing happen"
few minutes later i feel like i want to buy something kat kedai depan rumah,then my neighbour called me,and she told me that kb mall runtuh! i was like OMG! then i masuk rumah,i call mama,and she fell asleep.then i tell her that kb mll runtuh.
then she said really?then i ask mama to take a look at kb mall then she said okay.
the road was SUPER JEM! then we went back home. i feel so shocked+sad,but what can i do kan,takdir.='(

hurm,i bored right now,really do.
someone HELP ME! i beg you!

and i miss him liike theres no tomorrow.i wish i could tell him but yeah,im willing to wait.none of my friend understand me. they were like faresha move on! hey people i TRIED! but its not working! i swear! i do love him,i do remember him all the time and yeah i do miss him!='(( i wish god send me someone who understand me,i really wish!

papa will be back in 3 days! yay!papa,i miss you alot!i miss your lame joke.haha. i miss your laugh okay?papa,i wish you were here! 20 days without you is sucks okay?



theres nothing else i want to writet,ill updated it later.=))bubye!